


And I can't get over you

by I_Can_Vibe_With_That



Series: Voltron Oneshots [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, As angsty as i could make it at least, Its allurance if you squint, Keith (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Rejection, The first fic i do from keith perspective and its this shit, but it could literally be anyone else too, i swear hes my favourite character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:29:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Can_Vibe_With_That/pseuds/I_Can_Vibe_With_That
Summary: His chest ached and, not for the first time, did he find he could understand the term heartbreak.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: Voltron Oneshots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1225907
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	And I can't get over you

**Author's Note:**

> So, the very first fic I ever wrote was because of this one comic by maixiem on tumblr, and I ended up with about 5000 words of nonsense. BUT, I do love that comic, and the feelings I get from it are still there and it's just so my type of angst. In honour of 2016-2017 me, I thought I would condense the idea into a little one shot, just so the main point could live in the public

Sometimes, when Keith could convince himself to go outside, he'd see him.

He would see Lance, walking around, and sometimes he was with _her_ , and sometimes not. They had broken up after the first month, or so he'd heard. Something about it not working right.

They were still friends.

But anyway, Keith would see him out, laughing, and living, and no matter how hard he tried, Keith would be drawn towards him like a moth to the flame.

He didn't get close. Didn't try to talk, or fit himself into Lance's friend group. Just strayed close enough to watch. He tried to keep hidden, but somehow, Lance always saw him.

Lance would catch him staring and he would always smile, and always wave. The smile would be tense and the wave was barely a wave, but he still did it. Like they were still friends. Like Keith hadn't ruined what they had.

Everytime, a look of hesitation would cross Lance's face. Of contemplation. Sometimes he would bite his lip and take a deep breath in preparation. He would make a move to stand up, but Keith never let it get that far. He would give a nod of acknowledgment, the only interaction he allowed himself to have with Lance, and he would turn away. 

It always worked, at least, after the first few times.

-

_~~Hey Keith! It's good to see you again! How have you been?~~ _

-

_~~Keith! Hey, did you wanna sit with us?~~ _

-

_~~Keith?~~ _

-

_~~You've been avoiding me. I'll stop bothering you, but I just, I miss you.~~ _

-

God, he was so stupid. Letting himself get comfortable, letting himself love. With all his past failures, why did he think he could keep something so good? He should have expected that he'd ruin it. That was all he was good for, driving people away.

-

He was going to the gym. He went a lot these days. Better to beat up his own body than someone else's, right?

~~_Dude, if you don't take any rest days you'll work yourself into the ground._ ~~

He could just work out at home, but getting out of the house helped clear his head a bit.

Lance was on the bus. He was alone this time, dressed comfortably and wearing his headphones. He didn't notice Keith. He was too busy snickering at his phone. He was using that silent laugh of his, the one he'd use in class when a teacher was speaking, or when he thought of something stupid.

He would giggle to himself silently and then turn to Keith -because they were always beside each other, standing or sitting or whatever- and he would whisper whatever it was into Keith's ear, still laughing quietly.

And then he would stop and watch Keith closely, waiting for a reaction, smiling one of those smiles that seemed like it was only for him, and there were many. Except now, Lance was smiling the same way, but it wasn't directed at him, and it hadn't been, and it wouldn't be.

He got off the bus five stops from the gym. 

-

He never made it to the gym after that.

-

His knuckles stung. They were bruised and he thought they were starting to split, but he didn't care. He should have worn his gloves, or wrapped his hands, but he didn't care.

He was drenched in sweat. It was dripping off of him, dotting the mat below him. It dripped from his hair, off his nose, down his chin. He wasn't quite sure if some were tears.

How stupid he had been. He knew Lance. He knew what Lance wanted, and it wasn't him. Lance wanted a girl, a pretty girl that was soft and sweet and romantic. A girl that was calm and laughed at his jokes and could comfort him.

He didn't want Keith. He couldn't want Keith. 

He hit the punching bag harder. He was starting to feel a twinge in his back and shoulders. His form was getting sloppy.

~~_Come on samurai! I thought you were supposed to be an expert at this? You gonna let me show you up?_ ~~

But Keith was stupid, and in love, and he'd let himself hope. He let himself wish for more than he deserved. 

It wasn't hard. Lance was easy to love. He was thoughtful, and considerate, and he cared so much. He trusted Keith, and Keith found that he trusted him right back.

~~_**Can I open my eyes yet?** _ ~~

~~_No! You'll ruin the surprise! Just trust me, okay Keith? I'd let you drag me down an abandoned alley._ ~~

He blinked hard. His breaths were uneven and shallow. He took a deep breath through his mouth and held it for a bit before letting it go. He hit the punching bag again.

His thoughts went back to that night. They were watching a movie in Lance's room. A rom-com, Lance's suggestion. Lance was making fun of the plot holes and the bad choices the characters were making. It made Keith laugh. 

Lance always made Keith laugh. He said it was one of his favourite pastimes.

_~~It makes me feel like I won something. You almost never laugh, so it's like a game.~~ _

**_~~Kind of a shitty prize.~~ _ **

_~~What? No! Dude, your laugh is awesome.~~ _

There was always a look of triumph on his face when he got Keith to open up. He would smile one of those private smiles and during those moments, it was like it was just them.

After a particularly bad joke, Keith calmed down enough to look at him. Keith's face softened into a smile only ever meant for Lance, and Lance had one of those smiles he thought had only been for him too.

The light from the laptop played on Lance's face, making him look ethereal. Keith had wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss him. 

He had always been known for his impulsive decisions. 

When he pulled back, the sense of dread was already building in his stomach before he even opened his eyes. Because Lance hadn't kissed him back. Lance hadn't moved, hadn't done anything at all.

And when Keith opened his eyes, the look on Lance's face said everything before he did.

~~_Keith, I... Woah. I'm sorry. But I don't feel the same way._ ~~

In the aftermath, when Keith could barely breathe, Lance had tried to comfort him.

~~_Keith._ ~~

~~_I love you, but not like that. I'm so sorry._ ~~

And that hurt more.

~~_We can still be friends, right?_ ~~

Keith was panting. His arms burned and his neck and shoulders ached. There was blood on his punching bag, and when he lifted his hands, he could see the blood streaked across his knuckles.

His face was soaked, but it wasn't sweat.

Quiet, hiccupping sobs ripped their way out of his throat as he ground his palms into his eyes. He stumbled back, hitting the wall behind him and sliding down it.

He stayed there for a few moments, not caring about the tears, or the sweat, or the blood.

_~~I love you~~ _

He pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes until he saw stars.

_~~But not like that~~ _

The tears drip drip dripped onto the mat between his legs.

He felt like he was choking, but none of his efforts could fill his lungs.

His chest ached and, not for the first time, did he find he could understand the term _heartbreak._

"I thought you wanted me, too."

**Author's Note:**

> I still can't do links, but the comic is reblogged on my tumblr, @good-vibes-mostly so if you wanna check it out, it's there
> 
> \- Bridge


End file.
